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Do Go Gentle: Bringing My Father Home to Die with Dignity After a Devastating Stroke, by Christopher Stookey
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On a September night not long after his 83rd birthday, William Stookey suffered a massive stroke. It left him conscious yet paralyzed, unable to swallow, and unable to talk and communicate. His doctors—after a barrage of scans and other tests—determined that there was little chance for recovery.
This is the story, as told by William’s physician son, of a family’s difficult decision to bring a loved-one home to die a planned death due to “terminal dehydration”—a death brought about by the withholding of all food and water. Told in candid and poignant detail, Do Go Gentle describes the process of that death as well as a family’s agonizing, yet loving, act of letting go.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Christopher Stookey is an emergency physician and author. His novels include TERMINAL CARE and WHERE DEATH IS A HUNTER. He lives in Laguna Beach, California with his wife and two dogs.
- Sales Rank: #912679 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-05-01
- Released on: 2015-05-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Christopher Stookey, MD, is an emergency physician and author. His novels include the medical thrillers, TERMINAL CARE and WHERE DEATH IS A HUNTER. He lives in Laguna Beach, California with his wife and two dogs.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
. . . intriguing and mildly disturbing
By Aurelia McNeil, Freelance Editor
Do Go Gentle is a nobly written biography and autobiography. Mr. Stookey, 83 years old, is found lying face up on the floor next to his bed. The diagnosis: He has suffered from a severe stroke, the right size of his body from head to toe is paralyzed, and he is unable to speak or swallow. With no signs of improvement, the family is faced with a decision - to move Mr. Stookey to a nursing home or bring him home to die by withholding food and water.
Do Go Gentle is intriguing and mildly disturbing. Many questions come to mind such as: What other solutions could have been made? Did the son (also the author of the book) do his best in accurately upholding his father's wishes based on the little information his father provided? Or did the son assume his father's wishes and interpret "clues" to justify his decisions? What were these so-called clues? Could they have been interpreted differently? Were Mr. and Mrs. Stookey and the daughter, Lori, in full agreement with the son's "plan"? or did they simply go along with what was already decided? What does the story really reveal?
Although recounting real events, this book reads like fiction -- captivating and suspenseful. Why did Mrs. Stookey have a blank look when the nurse asked for Mr. Stookey's advanced directive? Why did Mrs. Stookey, the son, Chris, and the daughter, Lori, not know Mr. Stookey's emergency arrangements and yet . . . . how does the ten-year family doctor whom the son never met previously, presume to explicitly articulate Mr. Stookey's wishes? What really was the "Hemlock file" and why didn't the son share this file earlier on? Lastly, who exactly is Mr. Stookey and why is his life story, in and of itself, so inspirational?
I highly recommend Do Go Gentle for anyone who has a loved one. I also recommend this book as a primary source and required reading for college courses dealing with humanities and ethics.
Throughout the book, the son reveals love and admiration for his father. My favorite quote: 'I must have been three or four years old . . . I'm holding onto [my dad's] head and we're both smiling at the camera. We look happy.' - Chris Stookey
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Important account of a debilitating stroke
By Faye Girsh
This is a well-written, careful, compassionate look at how a doctor/son decides what to do when his father has a debilitating stroke. Fortunately his father had made clear that he would not have wanted to live in such a condition and, fortunately too, the family was OK with the painful decision to bring him home but not provide food and fluids. This is a long, difficult way to die. Some form of legal assisted dying would have been merciful and more consistent with his long-expressed wishes. The situation of a debilitating stroke is not unusual and can present an endless, expensive, tragic nightmare for a family if they haven't discussed what the person would want. This is an important little book. I recommend it to anyone who is a parent or an adult child.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A story of love and courage to do the right thing.
By Sophisticated Sally Sue
Thank you, Christopher, for sharing your father's story.... It gives me strength and courage.
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